Mr Ab, why you no food tolerant?!

Ouch, It is happening again, that cramping, piercing pain on the upper section of my abdomen. The last time I had it, the pain lasted for 7 hours, and the best part is, I have absolute no inkling as to why and how it happened. As far as I know, I was "food tolerant" 6 months ago, and after my return from the UK, my abdominal pain went into a recurring basis 2 times a week. sometimes the pain can be unbearable and vague, ambiguous so I would make frequent errands to the toilet, tearing up while curling up in a foetus position as I try to withhold the pain. 


I consulted Dr. Google for a diagnosis of myself, also through second opinions from my friends, my abdominal pain were most likely attributable towards IBS, gastric pain or the dreaded peptic ulcer. All which would probably make sense, for my habit of skipping meals while I was pursuing my diploma in TARC, would explain the possibility of developing gastritis. Although, the odd nature of my pain, that would only arise after I consumed some food from a particular seafood restaurant. Could it be, that I've started to develop an intolerance to certain types of food? As much as I wanted to skip dining at that place forever, my family thought it would be best to make a me guinea pig and try each and every food, to sort out the exact ingredient that I am intolerant towards. perhaps, they don't seem to realize the extent of my pain, even with a cocktail of medications, will never relief my pain. all the medicines that I've bought, adjuvents, painkillers, antacids, may only cause placebo effects. 


Sometimes I would picture myself having board meetings with directors, CEO's, VIP's when suddenly my abdomen sprouts bits of stabbing pain and I would leave feeling embarassed, pretty sure my career is over. this thought, would manifest itself into the perfect catalyst for me to seek medical checkup, hoping the doctor would perhaps perform gastrointestinal endoscopy and I would happily live the rest of my
life with medications, so long the torment of not knowing what sickness I have would go away.


Okay, back to reality. In the meantime, I'll have to stay away from chinese tea and some 
salted fish black sauce braised pork (sounds yucky when you say them in english). And hopefully, 
pray hard that coffee is not the source of my pain because, I think I can't live without it. ;p


Cheers to a good day tomorrow. 

Au Revouir, my friend.

My room at The Forge, just moments before I left Sheffield

12 midnight, 20 minutes after.

I am laying in my bed, with sore eyes from reading . Then flashbacks came, every piece of recordings

of my life in Sheffield, replayed itself through my mind.

Do you know sometimes when you are doing something and suddently... Aha! you discovered something new?

I've been hit with a "Aha!" moment.

To that person who I've known for three month, whose heart that I had broken in a second...

I know I did wrong, indisputable. I know you won't forgive me, indisputable as well. I know I gave my all, trying to make things right. But now I know, it won't change a thing between us. You'll still hate me like always. You will always look at the wrongs of me, never looking beyond, what we've been through.

Maybe, you did look through, and you decided, I'm just too much a villain, a person who you wil always find sickening - like you said before. Oh, don't worry, its not a harsh word. Its just a word that I would remember it for the rest of my life.

Neverthenless, I've always adored you, right from the beginning. It was a risk that I took, I would never anticipate myself falling head over heels for you and nothing will ever change that.

What has changed? I've decided that its time - to move on. From mistakes, from the past, from you.

Months ago, I dedicated my life to preserving the bits of our memory. My real life, began to crumble right before my eyes.

Today onwards, time is and will be my antidode. 

I end every night with prayings for my family, for my friends, for you.  This is for certain, something I wont change.

To you, cheers for the good life we had. 

Sincerely, Me.