My first phone screening with Kraft Malaysia

Dear Diary,
Its quite a big day for me tomorrow, because Kraft Malaysia is calling me for a phone screening tomorrow. We all know Kraft for its delicious cheese, and since it is one of the biggest FMCG companies in the world, I am intimidated by it, but at the same time, its like a lottery ticket that I want badly to win it.


For that 10 minutes of nerves as steel, I am just going to be myself. I try not to look out for secondary opinion, because their worries may not be the same as mine. So fingers crossed. :)

Married on April's Fool

Dear Diary,
I've been wanting to write to you ever since that fascinating dream my mine. For one moment, I thought I was living the dream, so surreal, so tangible. I woke up in a hotel somewhere in Penang, quietly recollecting those fragments, wishing and hoping I could hold on to it for as long as I can. But sooner or later, those longingness started to disappear as life returns to its normalcy.

"Her smile, her smile, was perfect. That was all I was looking at, despite my tux and her beautifully decorated satin wedding dress, her veil hanging behind her head. There we were, standing in a place so magical, I could almost forget how it looked like. I remembered one of her many words "Our dream.. it came true". I remembered friends, family, colleagues, everyone cheering on us, music, no.. a symphony so melodious, there isn't a name for it. "

Thought it may seem like a moment entirely short, that dream lasted till the next morning. A second after I woke up thinking "its morning after our wedding night", I began to slowly take in reality that dreams are somewhat bitter-sweet. Somehow, I began to believe that marriage could be the most precious gift a human could ever want. I hope, but I fear as well.

Time and time I asked myself, does this dream mean anything? Is she real or fictitious? A character I created
as a result of events in the past? I've never seen her before, yet she showed remarkable resemblance to someone I so dearly have hurt.

Goodnight diary. 
Eileen 

The Joy of Cooking

Its been a couple of days that  got my mood pretty beaten up. Have been chatting with my best friend who knows me so well, since we've been friends of 10 years. Love and stuff like that, makes me all that down and depressed. So I've decided today I was going to cook for my family. Western food has always been my favourite food, hence my rather plump looking body. =D

Kitty Perry watching over the leaky cauldron 

Bubbling Spagetthi!

Fresh ingredient  - beef, onion, tomatoes

Waiting for that tasty bit.

From left - spagetthi, roast chicken, bolognese gravy, mushroom soup

Bon Apetite!

What an odd colour. Camera trick I suppose..

Ended my dinner with a can of beer. And a few extra pounds gained =P.
I've rarely been able to cook for them, and it sort of takes me of my mind for awhile.

My Bachelors Graduation!

A booklist of graduates - Sheffield Hallam University

Finally, I am officially a bachelor. 4 months after I had arrived home from England, my anxious wait has finally ended with this moment of conferration, a degree for thousands of graduates, what more graduates in this country fighting to earn a spot on the employment statistics. 

Arriving at the ballroom of One World Hotel, overwhelmed by the estatic faces of parents and graduates alike, pitter-patters and little chats that comes with chuckles of laughter, I immediately had my tickets and robes taken. 

I in particular, wasn't ecstatic much. After a series of turbulent events in the past has left me with an emotional wound, trying hard to heal itself with little "medication". Nevertheless, knowing I've just forked out a huge fortune to commemorate a new chapter in life, I must insist on being happy throughout the entire ceremony.

From the commencement speech to the graduate books presentation, it all seems too familiar for me. Occasionally you would hear names that echoes in your mind, reminiscing the past, regardless sweet or bitter.

With an exception, a particular person, who I so longingly wish to see, appeared right before my eyes, and time literally stopped. Perhaps, all the anxious feelings I had all these while, was for nothing but her. After the ceremony was over, I looked for her, in all places a graduate would be on that day, she disappeared like a phantom, and I knew I just missed that one single chance to reconcile with her. 

Like all things past, must be put aside as life moves on, I continue my battle. By the way, some of the familiar faces I met on that day, friends who I wish them well and a great future ahead! 

Mr Ab, why you no food tolerant?!

Ouch, It is happening again, that cramping, piercing pain on the upper section of my abdomen. The last time I had it, the pain lasted for 7 hours, and the best part is, I have absolute no inkling as to why and how it happened. As far as I know, I was "food tolerant" 6 months ago, and after my return from the UK, my abdominal pain went into a recurring basis 2 times a week. sometimes the pain can be unbearable and vague, ambiguous so I would make frequent errands to the toilet, tearing up while curling up in a foetus position as I try to withhold the pain. 


I consulted Dr. Google for a diagnosis of myself, also through second opinions from my friends, my abdominal pain were most likely attributable towards IBS, gastric pain or the dreaded peptic ulcer. All which would probably make sense, for my habit of skipping meals while I was pursuing my diploma in TARC, would explain the possibility of developing gastritis. Although, the odd nature of my pain, that would only arise after I consumed some food from a particular seafood restaurant. Could it be, that I've started to develop an intolerance to certain types of food? As much as I wanted to skip dining at that place forever, my family thought it would be best to make a me guinea pig and try each and every food, to sort out the exact ingredient that I am intolerant towards. perhaps, they don't seem to realize the extent of my pain, even with a cocktail of medications, will never relief my pain. all the medicines that I've bought, adjuvents, painkillers, antacids, may only cause placebo effects. 


Sometimes I would picture myself having board meetings with directors, CEO's, VIP's when suddenly my abdomen sprouts bits of stabbing pain and I would leave feeling embarassed, pretty sure my career is over. this thought, would manifest itself into the perfect catalyst for me to seek medical checkup, hoping the doctor would perhaps perform gastrointestinal endoscopy and I would happily live the rest of my
life with medications, so long the torment of not knowing what sickness I have would go away.


Okay, back to reality. In the meantime, I'll have to stay away from chinese tea and some 
salted fish black sauce braised pork (sounds yucky when you say them in english). And hopefully, 
pray hard that coffee is not the source of my pain because, I think I can't live without it. ;p


Cheers to a good day tomorrow. 

Au Revouir, my friend.

My room at The Forge, just moments before I left Sheffield

12 midnight, 20 minutes after.

I am laying in my bed, with sore eyes from reading . Then flashbacks came, every piece of recordings

of my life in Sheffield, replayed itself through my mind.

Do you know sometimes when you are doing something and suddently... Aha! you discovered something new?

I've been hit with a "Aha!" moment.

To that person who I've known for three month, whose heart that I had broken in a second...

I know I did wrong, indisputable. I know you won't forgive me, indisputable as well. I know I gave my all, trying to make things right. But now I know, it won't change a thing between us. You'll still hate me like always. You will always look at the wrongs of me, never looking beyond, what we've been through.

Maybe, you did look through, and you decided, I'm just too much a villain, a person who you wil always find sickening - like you said before. Oh, don't worry, its not a harsh word. Its just a word that I would remember it for the rest of my life.

Neverthenless, I've always adored you, right from the beginning. It was a risk that I took, I would never anticipate myself falling head over heels for you and nothing will ever change that.

What has changed? I've decided that its time - to move on. From mistakes, from the past, from you.

Months ago, I dedicated my life to preserving the bits of our memory. My real life, began to crumble right before my eyes.

Today onwards, time is and will be my antidode. 

I end every night with prayings for my family, for my friends, for you.  This is for certain, something I wont change.

To you, cheers for the good life we had. 

Sincerely, Me.

The Privilege of A Theft Victim

Crime Scene: The burglar gained entry through my room's window

YES, YOU HEARD IT RIGHT THERE. A privilege of being a theft victim, even much a privilege in a foregin country.

Back last week, when I was enjoying my first night in London, a call from my flatmate came in. I was about to eat supper when I answered that phone call. A voice seemingly frantic and concerned appeared. Much of my confusion turned into shock when he said my room was broken into through the windows and my laptop went missing. Shattered glass sprawled all over my room, some on my bed as well.

I took me quite some time to come into realization that I am now a victim of theft, especially in a relatively safe city like Sheffield. It didn't take a while for my feelings of anger and fustration to build and tears would overflow, not in the pressence of my friends, when all were asleep that night,  that 1st night in London.

Since that incident, I've been literally spending nights with different friends up until recently. Without my laptop, I could no longer surf or social network as much as I did before. I would spend most times in my common room with 3 things - My mobile, my books and my coffee. People would see me and know me as the theft victim - which is cool, come to think of it. Through some "mirroring on myself", I figured it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I would immerse myself with books more often, walk myself around Sheffield to spend my idle time and mingle with strangers, who would eventually turn into friends.

My friends have played a tremendous role in supporting me all the way, some who have shown real, remarkable display of affection and friendship. Not to forget the effectiveness of the South Yorkshire Police and the Victim Support Group. With a call, you now have a police report with a crime reference number for insurance, in a matter of an hour. What else can you be proud of Sheffield for?